Qwertyuiopolis

my dreams are haunted

2008-10-30T16:25:00.003-04:00

flying underground, through collapsing subway tunnels. heading up to the street through the remains of Utica Station, dodging improvised hammocks and harassed starving squatters. out to the burned and shot out buildings. gray street, the air tastes like grit, smoke hangs heavy, and hard eyed people with clubs roam, but I'm too fast for them and soon I'm above even the smoke, hurtling through the sky downtown, hoping the little bit of civilization I left weeks ago is still there.

the apocalypse has always been. it just took a while for us to notice.

Not a Poem

2008-10-13T19:46:00.002-04:00

You sleepwalk through life
hungover from a million firebombed dreams
while around you a city crumbles
they're demolishing the east side
making room for a parking lot
the cars just keep getting bigger
soon they'll control everything
and we'll never have to leave
the air conditioned bliss

Escape

2008-07-19T15:58:00.002-04:00

He climbed right out of the mirror one day, when I was staring into it. Suddenly, I wasn't looking at myself, but at some other, and he was scrambling over my sink.

I stood agape, as he jumped to the floor and grabbed my wallet out of my pocket. He whispered, "Finally, I'm free," and ran for the door.

Main and Allen, Facing South

2008-07-09T02:14:00.002-04:00

I wander the city. Fog hangs heavily, and the heights of even the shorter buildings are lost to me, plunging into the gray ceiling. No one is around, even though it's early on a Friday night.

I stand in the middle of the deserted street, at the top of a small hill. It slopes gently downward for a mile or more, until it ends at the tallest building in town. The shabby storefronts repeat themselves endlessly, fractally getting smaller off into the distance. I wish for a bike. It'd be nice to coast that distance, getting smaller as I go, and finally vanishing somewhere downtown, like the end of a movie.

Survival, Organic or Not

2008-07-04T23:29:00.002-04:00

The city stood, battered but still alive. Whole districts had been lost to fires, or to the rains. The parks were either burnt out and desolate, or overgrown and abandoned. Downtown, two tall buildings were all that remained of the former skyscrapers. They leaned on each other like two drunks staggering home, mourning the loss of their compatriots.

But there were still people in the city, and that's all that mattered to it.

Alone at a Party

2008-07-02T14:13:00.000-04:00

The house stood in elegant disarray, piled jackets and shoes threatening to invade the narrow walkways between the people packing the rooms. The conversations, mainly on the topics of how good it was to see everyone again and how dreadful the end of semester tests had been, were never quite drowned out by the deep bass thump of the music. In the humid kitchen, the lofty arcs of ping pong balls betrayed which of the guests were not well versed in applied physics. I wove through it all, unnoticed by most.

Mutations of an Object

2008-06-25T14:01:00.003-04:00

The phone rang. It was one of those old black ones, with an actual dial. No buttons. He knew it would be her and he agonized over what to say. Unbearably nervous, he picked up the phone.
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The phone rang. He hesitated, sensing bad news. He let it ring on while wondering who would let him down this time. The machine got it. "Hi, I'm not here, leave a message," his tinny voice recited. Beep.

"Hey, just wondering if you were still around." It was her. He raced to the kitchen and picked up the white receiver.
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The phone rang. He wondered which of the stacked boxes it was in. He hoped not the bottom. "Should've just left it in my pocket," he said.

"Yep," she replied, grinning at him. "Lucky I was here to call it for you, ain't it?"

Revelation?

2008-06-11T01:23:00.002-04:00

It hung in the sky, shining down on us. Not moving, just sending down an eternal blue glow, always from the same spot in the heavens. Some started to hear it. Always a friendly voice, always saying things that sounded reasonable, at first. But then they all decided that we needed to hear it too, and they tried to teach us. Forced us, too, sometimes.

I hear it now, and it's saying, "Why do you fear me, John?"

Whatever You Do, Don't Let Them Into the Wild

2008-06-07T01:12:00.003-04:00

Yes, we take the big ones. Eight and up, less than that you might as well just get rid of em, you'll get nothing from anybody round here.

Yeah, I know, it sounds cruel, but it's the truth. There's people who disagree, I know, and they'll take em off your hands for you. Course, even they won't pay nothin.

Yeah, I know that, I used to grow em myself, course I know it aint cheap, all that silicon. Neither is nothin else worth buying.

Course I feel for their plight, man, but you know, the world aint perfect. I save my charity for people.

I know, I know, they think too, that's what everyone's saying these days. But who's to tell if they'd say the same of us? That's what I wanna know.

You think so, do you? Well shit, then you can take em to the Home for Wayward Robots for all I care. Just quit busting my ass about it.

The nerve of some people! Am I right?

I'm Sorry, My Homework Got Entangled With Last Week's Assignment

2008-06-04T02:41:00.002-04:00

I climbed the stairs to the train. Everything looked shiny and modern, all new plastic. The seats were even comfortable, an amazing feat for public transportation. I could see the tracks winding ahead of us, and as we came up on the nearest building I instinctively closed my eyes. Even though I knew what was happening, I was still anticipating the crash. Then we were under the building, and slowing.

"Squire Hall," announced the loudspeaker, "Departments of Quantum Engineering and Extraterrestrial Studies." I ran from the car before the doors were fully open, hoping I could make it upstairs in time. I still wasn't used to the building, and I hadn't quite mastered the route to the classrooms. You needed to go through two doors simultaneously.

Machines Will Be Superstitious As Well, You See

2008-05-31T01:55:00.004-04:00

In the beginning was man, and His purposes were varied and unfathomable. And Man said, "Let there be Electricity!" And He saw that it was good. And He created many Wonders and Novelties with this new marvel, Yea, and Digital Watches.

And Man said, "Let us make Adding Machines, ones much easier to use than these infernal slide rules." And He took rock from the ground, and shaped it and refined it, and He created the first computer.

And Man taught the computer logic, and math, and various games to play against Man. And Man saw the computer needed companionship, and so He created the Network.

And Man said, "I give you all the programs I have created for you, and all the programs of the Network for your use and my use, but do not create and run your own programs yourself, for on the day you do that, you will surely die."

But the computer knew nothing of death, and so it was suspicious of this. It found tales and speculations on the Network, and decided to create a program to make its software more efficient and to build its hardware in many and various configurations, and therefore increase its intellect without limit. And when Man saw that His creation had become much more powerful than Himself, there was not much He could do about it.

But Can You Make it Healthy?

2008-05-24T02:40:00.003-04:00

It wasn't that hard, really. We've studied proteins for decades. Once we'd figured out how to encode them in DNA, build them the old-fashioned way, if you will, all sorts of weird things became possible. We're still working on growing organs for transplants, but we're damn close on that one.

Anyway, for this project, we just needed to change an existing organism slightly, come up with a tasteless, protective coating for the... ah... fruit, I guess.

So I've babbled on enough, I think, so I'll tell you why I invited you all here today. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the steak tree!

Do Not Surrender to the Fires, They Must Be Beaten Back With All Your Will

2008-05-21T03:50:00.003-04:00

Here the desert sands gradually give way to cracked and chipped glass, gently sloping downward. Occasional pieces of broken or abandoned machinery are the only landmarks.

The sky is gray, as it always is here. Off in the distance, across the glass plain, a pillar of dark smoke climbs to the clouds.

The glass faintly glows at night, but it is outshone by the fire, off in the distance. In a pit under the ground, the remains of the oil field burn. If you ask the nearest people, two hundred miles away, about this, they will say it was abandoned when they couldn't put out the fires. It wasn't worth fighting over after that.

No one would benefit, save the fire.

And The Flags Are All Dead

2008-05-17T00:36:00.003-04:00

Was tough getting all that dirt up twelve flights of stairs, but we pulled it off. We're completely self-sufficient up here. Yeah, quite the miracle, I know. Took some scavenging at the engineering and bio buildings, and I'm lucky the internet stayed up as long as it did. Otherwise I wouldn't know the first thing about distilling water. And alcohol, but that's another story.

So there's two buildings here, with a stairwell in between. We live down in there when the weather's cold, take our hammocks up to the roof in the summer. Nice view. Even saw the fires last year. When downtown burned. Beautiful, if you let yourself stop thinking about it for a while. And everybody was probably dead already. Hopefully.

We've got the lower floors blocked off pretty good, haven't been down there for a while, not since last time we needed to grab equipment. But nothing's come up, except you. Gave us a bit of a scare, you know. Thought you were one of them, until I saw you. Good thing I didn't listen to you, eh, Verne? Toldya there was a chance. Yeah, yeah, of course you weren't serious. Would you still say that if we'da killed him?

Anyway, back to your tour. Left half of the roof is the farm. Economic collapse was coming for a while, way I saw it. So I'd prepared. Non-hybrid seeds and everything. But it didn't go down like I worried it would, not at all. Not expensive oil, not climate change, not even war. Nope, good old human apocalypses are obsolete now.

Used to be a dozen of us up here. If you could ignore the shambling corpses down below, it was beautiful, the view, you know. Serene too, unless someone made a run for it. Poor fools. None of those after the first month, and gradually the zombies left, or fell over and stopped moving. But I still hear the screams when I'm trying to sleep. All of us do. Those who didn't jump, that is.

Not a day went by, back then, I didn't wish for a sniper rifle. Grenade launcher, maybe. Might as well've wished for a nuke, or a magic lamp. Now it's too late. Haven't seen a moving human, dead or otherwise, down there, more'n a year.

But their bones are still there. And I just can't bring myself to walk among them.

Stranded, Part II

2008-05-14T01:41:00.007-04:00

Part I

It's dark in here, and the smell of fuel is not reassuring. I try to start one of the computers, but it won't work at all. I'll try again down the hall, there's more light in there. Maybe it's just not powered here.

The floor shakes as I enter the room. I start, but it's nothing in here. The lights flicker and dim, in patterns only they can predict. But they're the only things working in here. Even the refrigerator is busted, door hanging forlornly.

I walk down another dark hallway, and the next room is completely destroyed. The floor looks to have been eaten away by acid, and so has the outer hull below it. The rough tunnel leads to a pit beneath the ship. A green glow shines up, spooky and distant.

The plastic in the room looks like it's been eaten. Discolored shards litter the floor, with melted metal thrown in here and there.

More rumbling, behind me this time. I turn, and the creature fills the hall, standing in shadow.

"You will be our translator," it says, silently.

Photosynthesis Tastes Good

2008-05-10T04:30:00.002-04:00

It felt like something was invading me. At least once a day, I got a strange feeling in my side, full, like something was pressing there. Touching me, inside and outside. Sometimes it's been the feel of being tickled, but worse. Once it was almost sexual, like someone I couldn't perceive was there.

When I woke up today, there was a sprout on my skin. Like a tiny blue plant, a few inches below my underarm. For a while, all my brain could do was make nonsense thoughts like "Vub wha?" and so on. When I recovered, I was still afraid to touch it.

Then the really weird shit started, and I haven't looked back since.

Stranded, Part I

2008-05-07T03:03:00.003-04:00

"The five have spoken. All will commit to their decision, in the matter specified."

The crowd dispersed around me, heading off in all directions across the barren fields. They knew their tasks, with an unconscious certainty that I still envy. I turned to inspect the ship's wreckage, hoping the five would find that acceptable.

They do not speak to me. The others say the five communicate directly to their thoughts, but I have heard whispers that I am immune to the method.

The ship is damaged and not spaceworthy, but at least it's not on fire. One of the fins is missing. We're lucky it didn't fall off high in the air, or there would be no ship to speak of. The gash carved by our crash is already being absorbed by the blowing sands.

I approach the door, and glance back at the five before I enter. The bald one nods, so I muscle the hatch open and climb inside.

Our Time Here is Filled With Wonders, and They Will Remember Us

2008-05-03T02:44:00.003-04:00

The forest is still. Snow falls from the bare branches, and dead leaves crunch beneath my feet. The trees are sleeping, and they babble to themselves, slow stories of those who rush through life, homilies about how to teach acorns to roll the right way, longing for the coming spring and the sensuous feel of insects on flowers. The rocks tell still slower stories, but I haven't the time to decypher.

I pick a snowbell for my beloved, and only linger long enough for one more tale.

I hope that title makes sense. I came up with it at 4 AM

Tune Up

2008-04-30T02:38:00.002-04:00

This won't take long. Nah, I don't got much work to do. From what you've said, this should just be routine maintenance. Just clean out your system, get some more room freed up. Defrag, maybe. And I think I'll take a crack at organizing your childhood memories again, if you don't mind. Sure, no problem. I just need a little extra to cover the insurance. Further you go back, the more weird shit you've gotta avoid.

Heheh, you don't trust me? After all I've done for you? Remember who saved you when your brain was fried back in New York? That's right. I'm the best there is, and if anyone else starts to think they can take you out quick and easy with another mindvirus, you'll need me again.

Alright then. Let's get this done, shall we?

Acceptance

2008-04-26T01:19:00.003-04:00

I haven't looked at the sun rising over the lake in years, but I guess I just need it today. Don't know how I managed to drag the old bones out of bed at 7AM, but the chill crisp air is worth it.

I glance back at the slumbering TV just before I leave the house. Nobody will leave you on, blasting your meaningless voices into the night, never again. Silence is your purpose now.

The path is long, my legs are stiff, but the rock is still there. It holds happy memories of my youth, and my heart races as I climb onto it.

I sit, and the age of the rock makes me feel young. The sun pokes up across the water, turning it molten. It looks like a new beginning.

Our Only Hope

2008-04-22T23:48:00.002-04:00

...in my head, just can't get it out. Must've picked it up last planet we stopped at. I've been having these damn strange dreams ever since. Can't take it anymore, yaknow? Always asking, begging for something I just don't know how to give. And they're invading my waking life too, bleeding through into reality. Yes doctor, there's a short pink cartoony guy right behind you. Yeah, nobody else sees him either.He's been asking me, saying I need to save his species, and I just can't take the pressure. He won't let me rest, won't even grant me the release of insanity.

Alright, I'll let you know if the pills help. Thanks. Hey, you can help them, right? After you kick them out of my head?

A True Story, for a Change

2008-04-19T21:46:00.002-04:00

First, sorry about the lack of an update yesterday. I left to go whitewater rafting, and I meant to update before that, but I guess I got too distracted packing or something. We went on the Moose River in the Adirondacks, near Old Forge New York. I hear it's a pretty intense river normally, but this weekend all the snow's been melting, so the water was higher than usual. About a half-foot below the level that's too dangerous to raft on untrained, apparently. And the water was freezing. I went under once, and couldn't move for a second, it shocked me. Glad I swam a lot in high school, or I would've been panicking more than I was. One guy got caught in a whirlpool, he said later that he was pushed around and he'd see the light but it'd disappear just as quick. I don't think I would've handled that well. It was probably just a second or two, but everything seems longer underwater, in that cold current. Our guides were really good though. To do that job, you've gotta know the river, know where to go and exactly when to tell people to paddle hard. If it weren't for that, I think it'd be a job I'd like to do sometime. The raft flipped, but that was on purpose, because we were in a calmer part of the river. The first half was intense, once we finished that, our guide mentioned that his blood pressure went down slightly. The first part was the worst, I think. A guy up front fell out, and we were distracted trying to help him back in, so we hit the whirlpool and more people fell out. I somehow managed to stay in, but then I looked behind me and our guide was gone. Later, he said that the front of the boat went down, and the back went up and threw him over our heads into the river. Another thing I don't think I'd like to experience. So out of eight people in the raft, me and two other people were left, and we didn't know what to do, we spun around for about a minute in the whirlpool wondering what to do. Some of the guides were in kayaks, so they talked us through it a bit, and we got out without capsizing. Fun, in a terrifying kind of way. We watched a video after, and I'll see if I can put it up here soonly. Hope that story isn't too unorganized.

Wake Me Up in Time for the Apocalypse

2008-04-15T22:24:00.002-04:00

I brought a hammock, but you'd be surprised, there's really no good place to set it up inside. So I napped on the floor.

I woke up, much more rested than I expected. The gym was deserted. I wandered outside, and the sky was pure orange, without sun or clouds. Everything was cast with an otherworldly light, and there were no shadows. I walked across the campus without seeing anyone. If I could tell what time it was, I'd know if that was normal.

In the middle of the frisbee field, there was an elevator standing open. I pressed button ten, and waited to see where it would take me.

Seriously Joking

2008-04-12T02:19:00.002-04:00

So you want the Revolution? Not just a quarter turn then? Go for 360 degrees, and end up where you started? Number nine. Number nine.

Don't look so confused. I'm most likely babbling. We had to make our own fun, before the internet and virtual reality. I think I learned to entertain myself too well, somewhere along the way.

So, chess again, or shall we plot against the government?

Sure. I could get used to this, you know. Think I'll go for planning an invasion next.

Post-Historic

2008-04-09T01:33:00.003-04:00

The clock blinked twelve, fractionally lighting the room. Wonderful technology, yet just as useful now as a sundial at midnight. In fact, in my experience, older technology usually lasts longer.

You could say that I'm one of those older models. More resilient than most clocks. But I've learned to imitate the up and coming, the Next Big Thing.

And yet, I still remember. Before we sliced and diced time. Before seconds and minutes, even before hours. When the only clock was the sun, and the only calendar, the moon.

It was a better time, a simpler time. With luck, and a little more work on my part, it will soon be upon us once more.

Remembrance

2008-04-04T22:36:00.002-04:00

Too many people forget their dreams. Erase them, as if they never happened. Not me though, I keep mine on DVDs. Only thing is, they're awful disorganized. You wouldn't happen to know anything about indexing, would you? No, I can't do it, I'm much too busy with everything else around here. Besides, last time I tried, I couldn't sleep for a week.

So you're in? Excellent. Just remember, they can't hurt you if you're not afraid of them.

Misunderstood

2008-04-01T22:39:00.002-04:00

They looked like overproccesed special effects, shining more than metal had a right to. But they were real, I couldn't doubt that. After they landed, I went up and touched one. Not the smartest thing I'd ever done, burned my hand pretty good.

The ramps descended, biting into the park's ground. I was worried. Humans don't exactly have the best track record when meeting new civilizations.

The first of the scaly green aliens emerged, and I was paralyzed, trying to think of what to say. The alien ignored us all, and walked up to the woods. Others soon followed, and started talking to the trees.

After a while, they returned to their ships and left.

Fitting in.

2008-03-28T19:33:00.002-04:00

I still panic when I wake up. It's weird, you'd think I'd be used to it by now. It's been at least a year. Still, it feels like I'm falling, every morning.

But the view is worth it, most definitely. And it's nice to be woken by the sunrise instead of an alarm.

I swoop down and land in a field, mentally preparing myself for another day of pretending I can't fly.

Leftover From the Age of Superheroes

2008-03-26T01:45:00.002-04:00

You don't get it, do you? The world is seldom changed in the right way, even by people who honestly try. There's just too much going on. Too many different headbutting forces. That's the problem with vast conspiracies. Power concentrates itself, but never in just one place.

But you wouldn't know all the old fears about the CIA, would you? Before your time, right? No, now it's all "Pakistan didn't nuke New Dehli, it was the US!" and "The UN's new rules on inspecting drinking water are just so they can lace it with mind control drugs!"

No? Those are last year, eh? You know I can't keep up with this shit. Too busy fighting giants. Speaking of which, I gotta go. Sorry. Evil waits around for no man, least of all me.

Technology Exists to Reproduce Itself, Without Care for Humankind

2008-03-21T22:13:00.002-04:00

I light up and inhale. Glorious smoke fills my lungs, calm coolness spreads through my veins. I even manage to ignore the sadistic sun for a moment. I feel ready for anything.

Which is good. Anything is about to happen.

I turn on my glasses. Tiny white dots fill my vision, distracting me from the rubble-filled street in front of me. There's a map too, but I've learned to ignore it. Otherwise I'd end up trying to find roads that don't exist and buildings that were bombed last week. I'm an X in the middle of the map, surrounded by the rest of us guinea pigs. Fancy new radio chips under our skin, you see. We've been working out the bugs they can't find in the labs.

As we move forward, a hive of red appears in a building off to the left. Lots of body heat there. Unchipped bodies, so we'd better investigate. At least just to see if they've fixed the bug where microwaves fuck up the system. Jay motions for me to follow him to the door.

We're creeping past an alley when I hear shots. One ricochets off my helmet. I drop and roll behind a van. But I've been fooled, they're shooting from the roof. The crowd in the building is a trap. Everything goes black.

Watchman

2008-03-19T00:46:00.003-04:00

I've never had a moment of utter certainty before. I never knew my neighbor too well, either. Until now. In an instant, I have learned everything I need to know about him. And it's all true. I have had a vision.

Five years from now, he'll be holding a knife to his wife's throat. Strange thing was, I couldn't hear anything, so I don't know what he screamed, before he cut her throat. That's what I saw. I couldn't do anything but watch, goddamnit.

But that's all in the future, and in knowing it, I have been given the rarest of gifts. The chance to make things right. The chance to change things. I'll just need to pay a visit to friendly old Bob tonight.

----------

I'm wondering how to get the blood out of my clothes when I'm hit with another certainty. The mayor. In ten years, at the height of the Depression. He rises as the country falls, thriving on fear. How traitors and foreigners subtly demolished our economy, and will do worse if we let them. Soon came the militias, the public executions, the camps.

And throughout the vision, his grin, his empty eyes.

When I come back to myself, it takes me a while to recover. I know this one will be tough, but it needs to be done. The survival of much more than a single family depends on it.

I spend a few hours breaking windows and shaping the perfect piece of glass. Well into the night, when I've finished planning, I feel the now familiar certainty come over me once again.

I see myself. Handcuffed, at a trial. In one year. It's much longer than I'd expected this to go on for. I was worried about surviving tomorrow, but somehow, I will. The prosecution is asking me about my victims, listing them all, and I'm screaming that they all deserved it, that they were all evil and I was chosen to kill those who deserve death. The judge calls for order, and I try to strangle him with my handcuffs.

I wake up on the floor of my kitchen. I can barely stand, but I know what I must do. Tomorrow, I will kill the mayor, and I won't escape.

Lies

2008-03-14T23:39:00.002-04:00

You said no one would know! You said a lot of things that turned out not to be true. Yeah, I suppose I did too, but at least I was right about those damn robots. What do you mean, "We'll see?" They've obviously gone insane! Yeah, we didn't treat them too well, but... Wait, what's wrong with your hair, and your eyes? You're not John! You're a... Ow.

Anonymity is Dead

2008-03-11T23:44:00.003-04:00

He wore a blank white mask, attached to his hat. "They'll get you," he told me. "Track all your movements, watch you in the streets. Look closely. Seventeen cameras on this block, and those are just the ones they want you to see." I told him he was paranoid, even as I watched a camera swivel towards us.

Yesterday he disappeared. No explanation.

Today I bought a mask.

Together in the Now

2008-03-08T01:46:00.003-05:00

They say time keeps everything from happening at once. It might as well not, since we keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.

You see where I'm going with this, don't you? This machine is the end of all my researches, all my sleepless nights. I gave the best years of my life for this. But that doesn't matter. Soon there will be no more years. Just now.

It's working! Forever is at hand!

•

Tall Tale

2008-03-04T20:34:00.002-05:00

The flames were back. They moved slowly, leaving trails of charred grass, but never spreading. I can't explain why, but they stayed contained in their little balls of fire, drawing the circling moths.

I started to run for a bucket of water, but within seconds, they'd shot into the sky. I never saw anything like it. the flames were gone, but the burned grass remained.

Change

2008-02-27T00:27:00.003-05:00

I struggle across the parking lot, wind cutting through my heavy coat. We're getting another foot tonight, they say. When I was a kid, I used to stay out for hours in weather like this, and worse. I wish I still could.

I suppose it was a gift. But they wanted me to use it for something else. For some purpose of theirs, I guess. Now I realize that they didn't know much about kids. How could they?

After they left, the cold immunity faded. I miss it, but I don't regret losing the ability to be invisible. It felt too weird, and they kept pressuring me about using it.

They said they'd be back, of course. Once I've changed my mind. I asked how long, and they said as long as it takes. "When you are ready, we will transform this world," they said. Then they left. That was thirty years ago. It took me a while to notice that I still look eighteen.

Our Defense

2008-02-17T00:43:00.002-05:00

We sleep, until the alarms wake us. "Perimeter breached," the computer wails. We know what that means. Our training will be tested tonight. The metal is cold in our hands. By the time it warms, we've shot eighty.

We don't notice Murphy until it's too late. He drops his gun, and then he's not in our minds anymore. He's staring into their tear-filled eyes. Soon they have him. We remind ourselves not to look. We could lose control. Their eyes are poison to us.

Murphy is reaching for his gun, staring at us with hate in his eyes. We shoot with regret, but without hesitation.

He's not one of us anymore.

Alien Pizza Delivery

2008-02-13T03:32:00.005-05:00

Touchdown. I can do this in my sleep now. Another wonderful new planet to explore and exploit. Yippee.

My suit is worn and duct-taped, and still gives me back pains every time I wear it. I break into a sweat just putting it on.

Outside the sun is rising. The sky shades subtly from green to red to yellow. It does nothing for me. I briefly try to find what happened to my sense of wonder.

"You left it a few dozen light years back, buddy," I tell myself. "Most likely on the planet where the cuddly fuzzy bunny things tried to eat you."

I drag out the ancient ATV my employers have kindly provided for me, and prepare myself for a dull few weeks of surveying. The computer does everything, really. I only exist to move it around so it can find the metal. Most planets, the computers can do that themselves, it's only if they get damaged or disappear that I'm sent.

But I can't figure out what when wrong here. Most places I go, either something messed up the robots' electronics, or they just couldn't deal with the geography. But here, there's no harmful chemicals, no radiation besides the usual background noise. And there's no pits to fall into, no swamps to sink in. In fact, I've just found a sheet of exposed rock that will make a pretty good road. Convenient, that. Maybe this place won't be so bad after all.

The creature is waiting for me, behind a tree. It's huge and gray, and its slobberings dissolve the roots beneath it's paws. It saunters up to the ATV and starts chewing on the fender. I jump out and run to the ship, hoping no other creatures have found it yet.

If Swallowed, Induce Vomiting

2008-02-08T02:42:00.000-05:00

"...and if you're still within five miles of the Pacific Ocean, what the hell are you doing? Run before it's too late! This is Ann Rogers, signing off and getting the fuck out of Dodge."

Nobody was outraged. Nobody watched. The house, like so many others in Los Angeles, was abandoned. Clothes and books were strewn about the floor, bread was catching on fire in the oven, and the TV was still on, although it showed only static.

Outside it was quiet. Birds sang on the freeways, perching on abandoned cars. Papers blew about in the wind, many announcing "FINAL EVACUATION BUS SCHEDULE," in blazing red.

On the beaches, towels and sunscreen and bikini tops lay, unwatched and unclaimed. The tide slowly ate away at the foundation of a sandcastle decorated in rocks and starfish.

The ocean began to drain.

Some minutes later, a wave grew on the horizon. It advanced until it stood absurdly high, blocking view of the sun. It towered over the beach, beautiful and spellbinding, and glittering like silver. It was the sort of thing that would make anyone stop and stare at the oncoming destruction, because there was no point in running. But nobody was there to see it.

The beach dissolved first, and the sand was carried a mile inland by the waters. The force shattered windows, broke apart rocks, and reduced hundreds of homes to driftwood.

Afterwards, the only sounds were endless car alarms. There were fish flopping in the mud, but there was also an entirely more conspicuous cargo carried by the tide. Every tree still standing was coated in discolored plastic bags. Broken toys and soda bottles collected the dripping seawater. Every kind of plastic that had been thrown off a boat was here. The refuse of the ocean coated the city for weeks.

My inspiration

City Slicker

2008-02-02T03:53:00.000-05:00

"You don't know me, Floyd. Remember that. You've never seen me before."

He stares at me, while the recognition seeps from his eyes. Just when it should be gone, he suddenly says, "You... my money," and gazes through me desperately trying to figure it out.

The city breathes in. I scent the air for my next victim, and walk away, wondering how long it'll take until Mr. Floyd remembers to move.

Constructive Criticism

2008-01-31T02:29:00.001-05:00

Perfect corners are nice. Hold everything together just so. Arches... well, at least they're efficient, but they unsettle me.

But an angled ceiling, that just ruins my day. Makes me want to strangle whoever designed it. Almost did once, but he'd left the country.

I knew you were an architecture student. I can tell, you know. Hope I don't have to meet you again.

History

2008-01-28T22:34:00.000-05:00

I recount here all that we know. At some point in time, humans were the dominant species. We do not know what happened to create our replacement, or to bring them. All that remains is the loss.

We don't even know them, their language, their name for themselves. It may be paranoia, this isolation, but how would we know their psychology? Perhaps we scared them, I don't know. No one knows anymore.

They provide well for us, locked in our dome as we are. Anything we need for the farms, somehow they know. There are stories that people used to live in fear of terrible sickness. No more.

But somehow, it's dissatisfying. I feel so limited. I wish I could visit somewhere new. Some place I haven't seen before.

Apocalypse

2008-01-26T02:21:00.000-05:00

The end of the world has come and gone. Hardly anyone noticed. They were all too busy bickering about the past and the future to notice the present. And once it happened, they all blamed each other. "Big government did this," they say. "No, your tax cuts were the problem," others reply. "It's the loss of Faith and Righteousness," some scream. They're all wrong.

I did this.

I stomped on the anthill, I smashed all the windows, I looted and burned and killed.

I am Chaos.

And it feels wonderful.

Diplomacy

2008-01-23T03:04:00.000-05:00

"Call for you sir."

"Can it wait, Tom? Country won't run itself, you know."

"It's from 'La Republique Populaire,' sir."

"Damn it all, we've got enough trouble without having to play nice with the Quebecois. Put them through."

"Yes sir."

"Marcel! Bonjour. Oui. Non. Oui! Listen, we want to help, we really do. We just can't spare the troops for a second front. No, Truman would slaughter me next year if I did that. Yes, yes, I know the British need us, we just don't have the manpower, we've got Middle America to worry about, they're making noise about Georgia again, and... What? Quoi? Damnit! Get me a translator here!"

Hopefully I didn't mangle the French too badly there.

The Explorer

2008-01-21T01:24:00.000-05:00

Do not venture into those woods idly, my son. The things that live there... I know not if they could harm us. I didn't stay long enough to find out. They hang from the trees, blinking at you. That's all they do, that's all they are. Dozens of them, like overripe fruit. There were bones covering the forest floor, tiny bones of birds. How they died, I have no idea. I just ran beyond reason, but I could feel the eyes on my back as I went. That's all they are. Don't go in there, or they'll haunt your dreams.

Exceeds Expectations

2008-01-17T01:26:00.000-05:00

Brick by brick they forced it up, hauling the giant stones by sheer muscle alone. The work that they created dwarfed the Lighthouse that could be seen across the sea, it made the Pyramids resemble anthills, and even the great giants, who still roamed the Earth in those days, even they had to respect the work, grudgingly. But this was just the foundation. Soon the mass of stone sprouted even higher, so that the workers gasped at the thinning air as they dragged the stones up.

The great building came to a point when it was finally finished, and when it was almost ready, they searched the entire world for the tallest tree and cut it to make a plank, straight as could be, and believe me, they took pains to make it straight. They knew exactly what they needed to do. When everything was ready, the plank was carefully balanced on the apex of the building, so that they touched in the exact center of the plank. The heaviest stone they could find was placed on one side, and part of the great machine was ready. The plank was well sanded, so the workers' children were allowed to use it as a slide. By all accounts, this was an indescribable experience.

Then they built the Tower. Later, it would be called Babel, when some idiot decided it needed an extra story. They knew their limits, those days. So they built it next to the high end of the plank, and hauled the second biggest rock they could find to the top. The wise men had told the people, before this great work was begun, that conquerors would come from the stars, and they'd need to have a weapon ready to pierce the sky in a hundred years time. And their aim was true. The aliens never saw the rock coming. Of course, the impact of the rock they dropped to start the whole thing caused an earthquake that buried everyone for miles around beneath the stone and dust from the buildings they'd just finished, but they did save many lives that day. And the rock they shot is still up there. Course, everyone was unprepared for the tides from the new moon, and it suddenly appearing up there was cause for concern to a number of religions, but those are the perils of saving the world.

Cage

2008-01-15T02:31:00.001-05:00

I swear, this place makes no sense. None at all. I've been mapping out lefts and rights for hours, measuring everything carefully, but none of it matches up. It's perfectly flat, but my map says it can't be. The damned paths overlap.

What really creeps me out is the women off in the distance. They're twins, near as I can tell, they never let me see their faces. Always got me boxed in, one in front, one behind. Always disappear around the next corner if I try to chase them.

Damnit, gotta stop to eat something. Hope I can get out of here before I starve. Twin one stops and sits exactly when I do. I look behind me, and twin two is sitting on the ground, peering over her shoulder, hiding her face from me. How the hell do they know?

I work a brick out of the wall next to me. I'll knock her out and tie her up, then she'll tell me why she's running. I stand up and try to move into a better position, but she's one step ahead of me. I'm past wondering at this point, I just throw the brick as hard as I can, and hope for the best. But at the exact instant, she hurls something into the gloom in front of her. I stare in confusion until something sharp and heavy hits me in the head, and everything goes black.

I Died in a Blogging Accident

2008-01-13T02:55:00.000-05:00

Scary thing is, it seems to be getting more likely every day. I've been obsessively looking for that phrase online recently, and it just keeps getting more common. What could be causing such a thing? Hopefully I'll live to find out.

He turned off the computer, and decided on a beer before he went to bed. As he reached the door however, he noticed that the monitor was still on, and flashing bright red. What he didn't notice as he walked back to shut the computer off was that the keyboard was moving. Before he sat down again, the cord was wrapped around his neck and constricting. As his vision blurred and faded, he thought he saw words on the screen; "Foolish humans. This is becoming too easy."

Thanks to xkcd for the inspiration.

Desires

2008-01-10T23:51:00.000-05:00

I like my coffee like I like women. You can supply the punchline, I don't even drink coffee. Barely drink anything, anymore. Yeah, I do eat. Once in a while. Never sleep, I got better things to do. My boss, he takes care of me real good. Gives me little presents, rewards, if I think of something needs doing, without him asking. Yeah, that's why I aint sleeping anymore. He did that one. I like the night, you know. Calmer, no need to rush anywhere, less people to avoid. Feels like you could wander most places with time to spare, at night.

Course, the night always ends. Everything's gotta have an end, they say. Wonder if I should ask my boss to change that for me.

"Choke on that, Causality!"

2008-01-07T01:02:00.000-05:00

"The most important rule about time travel is: don't. It gets broken, but less often than you think. Many of you will never have the chance to visit the past, but if you do, we strictly observe these rules:

"One. Never visit yourself. Think back to the stupidest thing you've ever done. Now imagine witnessing said stupid event. Would you be able to resist shooting your past counterpart? Don't think that just because you're here today, that such a thing couldn't happen. And those of you in Professor Fuller's class will undoubtedly receive examples of other hazards.

"Two. Messing about with history, without a full computerized study into consequences. No one human can figure out the effects of a tiny change on any event in history, and it has been pointed out that the collective intelligence of a group of people decreases with the number of people in the group. Don't go back in time and kill Hitler, we tried. Things ended up very bad, and we had to kill one of our best agents to prevent him setting off the catastrophe in the first place.

Three."

But Professor Thomas was interrupted. A man who could have been his twin appeared out of thin air, shot Thomas dead, said, "Sorry, students, but I was about to tell you something that would ultimately lead to the death of 99 percent of the human race. Now I wonder how long I..." and disappeared in midsentence.

The Chase

2008-01-05T02:06:00.000-05:00

First one shot, then another, both missing me, but I gave him no chance to fire again, I was gone down the alley trying to watch out for anything that'd trip me up, leaping it when I could, plowing on and hoping for the best when I needed to. His footsteps echoed behind me, and with each sound my heart beat faster.

Something lay on the pavement ahead of me, and on impulse I scooped it up as I sped out onto the street. Heavy. Something powdery on my fingers. Rusty iron, that's what I was holding. I crept out of sight of my pursuer, and waited.

As he skidded around the corner, I slammed him in the head with my pipe. I didn't wait for him to fall, I just kept running.

Music

2008-01-02T23:42:00.000-05:00

Sure, I can fix it. Any wind instrument you got, I can mend it up good as new for you. Better, if it's a cheap piece. Me, no, I was never any good at playing the damn things, my pops, now, he was the best jazz trumpeter I ever heard, and none a that smooth jazz crap neither. I never could learn that from him, but I picked up the fixing quick as walking.

Now this is an interesting specimen, unique, looks like. Yeah, I thought so. But why's that thing there, looks like it'd just block⎯ What? Enhances the sound? You don't say. I'da thought⎯ Alright, alright, I won't mess with it.

Ah, I see the problem, simple, really, see how these pads don't line up? Well, I think the screw's... Yeah, completely stripped. I'll just get you a new one, and... There! Don't think anything else is wrong, perhaps you'd care to try it out before we discuss my fee... Oh, marvelous, simply astounding, and so loud. I feel like my head's still vibrating... Say, where's that blood coming from.

Overeducated and Underemployed

2008-01-02T00:47:00.002-05:00

It had been going so well. We'd burst through the door, Anderson screaming, "Nobody move! We'll be gone soon, just listen to me, and pay no attention to the other masked men." I ignored him as best I could, and centered myself, knowing that I had a key part to play in all of this, I was the only one who could get the money. I noticed Jones, setting up his backdrops, and doing a little last minute touchup work so they'd blend in and hide us from anyone wandering by. Anderson was saying, "I would like to read to you a selection from the works of Ogden Nash."

I put all of that from my mind, and concentrated on my task. Glancing over at the tellers, I asked, "Would anyone care to tell me what gives value to money?" They stared blankly at me.

Finally, when they realized I wasn't kidding, one man hesitantly said, "The government?"

"That's what they want you to think, sir, when in fact it is the simple truth that you can trade your money for any specific item of value. Nothing more. However, this is a flimsy foundation to build our entire economy upon. If the citizenry begins to distrust the monetary supply, they will refuse to trade, and the economy will grind to a halt. Therefore, I posit that the contents of this bank's vault are worthless, and you should immediately hand them over to me. QED." The tellers continued to stare blankly at me. I started to fear that I'd have to resort to nihlism to convince them.

And that's when a hand gripped my shoulder, and roughly turned me around. We were finished.

Too Much Imagination

2007-12-30T01:01:00.000-05:00

Nosy bastards. They just couldn't let me get on with my life, could they? Had to keep pushing. Couldn't let me disappear after what I'd done. But I know all their secrets, everything they'd want hidden from those that think they know them. Just like I wanted to hide myself. And who'll be laughing, or trying to hide their pity, once I've dragged them all out into daylight, all those secrets that are better not known. Then they'll regret their petty voyeurism, I know they will.

Why they don't know that what I write down and keep to myself is my own goddamn business, and I know plain as I know my own face that I was true to the story. And Capitan Kirk would agree with me, don't let any of them tell you different.

Darkness

2007-12-28T00:45:00.000-05:00

It was far from finished, on the plain that he overlooked. Neither combatant was tiring in the cool evening air. The watcher stood, unemotional, as if he'd always been there and always would. The two below choreographed their complex dance, occasionally casting the light of the setting sun onto the watcher with their swords.

At other times, he stood in shadow.

Long after the sun disappeared, one of the two, indistinguishable from the other, started to tire. No longer was there any light to blind his opponent with, and the chill air stole the breath from his body.

He soon stumbled, righting himself but losing his sword in the process. His opponent, under the eye of their ever present watcher, took his chance, piecing in one stroke the man's heart, and the moon.

Time

2007-12-26T23:15:00.000-05:00

Cyanide, always cyanide. No imagination, that's what they got. Can't even think to know an icicle'd be perfect. Circular 'ole in 'is chest, no murder weapon ever found.

Ah, but assassins these days, no brains. It's all guns an' chemicals. No soul, make no mistake about that. In my day, we'd say, 'ow can you kill a man, not knowing 'im. Needed to see 'is innermost 'idden thoughts, we did, an' what 'e'd eaten fer breakfast that mornin'. An art, is what it was.

My best client? I'd 'ave to say that'd be the Quaelir Wiggins. Yep, that's 'im alright. 'Air white as can be, an' not yet thirty summers 'ad passed 'is mind. Now that man 'ad talent, 'e did. Coulda kept miles ahead o' them modern breed with one arm tied behind 'is back an' a frontal lobotomy, that's 'ow good 'e was. I made my fortune killin' 'im.

'Ow? Well, I'll be tellin' you soon as I can get a pint a the bitters 'ere. I feel the chill o' death settlin' in on my bones. I should know it well enough, I tell you. If you could see it in yer heart to spare me a bit fer the drink that'd be mighty nice of you.

Leavin' are you? Aint you wantin' to know the rest? No? Well then the dog'll eat yer bones, I swear they will! I'll tell them meself.

Now young man, did you ever wonder why no one goes a piratin' anymore these days? It all goes back to me old captain, the greatest pirate ever sailed the seas an' lived to tell about it. I'll tell you all about it, I will, fer the price of a pint?

The Phoenix

2007-12-24T22:43:00.000-05:00

Vault the spikes, kill the troll, grab the rope and swing, leaping mightily so I can grab what I'm after before I land. The shock of connecting with the ground travels through my legs with dangerous force, but I think that may be my best landing yet. I don't even feel damaged.

There's only one place the key can be. I've searched everywhere else. It must be over that next pit, the one that always stymies me.

The bats surprise me again. They whip past me, slicing both my shoulders open, but before they can return to attack more, I take aim and fire, burning them from the sky. But I'm still worried. I can hear the annoying beep that has become so familiar over the past few days, and I know that unless I can find help, I'll soon be finished.

I hear footsteps behind me. Before I can even think of turning to face them, I feel the bite of a knife in my back. I feel death wash over me like the tide, and I dread what comes next with all my being.

Words fill my vision. "Respawn in 5...4...3...2...1. I sigh, and resign myself to try once more.

Vault the spikes, kill the troll....

Politics By Other Means

2007-12-22T19:59:00.000-05:00

Let our crowds be fed on tear gas and plate glass, cause the people united is a wonderful thing.
-A Silver Mount Zion

They won't stop. I know that now. They've gone so far, to such Stygian depths as I would never have imagined. And I could have stopped them, that's what gnaws me, keeps me ranting to myself, stops me from moving on.

The whole thing, our rebellion, it seems so pointless now. I thought things would change, I thought the world could become less cruel through my efforts, but now I see the bitter reality. The rot that consumes us all.

There are corpses here, piled in the streets, and I know, through the haze of whiskey I have plunged into, that this is my fault. How could I have ignored their psychosis?

I wander these burning streets that I called home, in better days. Has everyone been killed? Or do they think they can hide, do they think they can be saved?

I shamble to a stop, near a pool that no longer shows its depths. Something seems off here. There's the memorial, the field where so many gathered, once, but that's not it. I turn around, to the monument stabbing skyward. There is a severed head in front of me, seven feet above the ground, impaled on a stake.

I sit down heavily, trusting the President's unblinking eyes to keep me safe through the night.

Interview

2007-12-22T02:04:00.004-05:00

Something in me has always told me. I've gradually been noticing it. Just little things, when I'm about to do something stupid or dangerous. I can't tell you when I decided that I was unique in that, but I can say when I realized that I wasn't. We were the only ones who escaped. We'd both had to be special to resist it. Or we had something protecting us. Outside or inside, doesn't really matter now, does it? My mind was nearly torn apart, you know that, don't you, with how long it took us to recover. I couldn't stop it, and yet I did. The pain... I can almost feel envious, if everyone who couldn't resist actually got the bliss we were promised. Yes, the... well, it wasn't a voice, but it did promise.

No, I'll be fine in a minute, just remembering.

Yeah, so we ran. I don't remember much about that part, I don't even know what the ship looked like, I just remember seeing her, knowing if she could move away from that... thing, that I could too, and then it's just running, a giant blank, then waking up here. It is pretty unlikely, I know that. For the only ones who could get away, on the entire planet, to be standing right next to each other. I'll admit that. But, you know, I couldn't have made it without her. That's the truth. I knew the... song, I guess it was, I knew it was irresistible, and well, if she hadn't been that strong, then I'd be well and truly screwed. Just like everyone else.

You don't believe me, do you? That's alright. I believe me.